


Of Dumbasses and Demons

by emberoak



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: College AU, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith is a demon, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, and lance's guardian, but no one is as done as pidge, do they ever shut up, klance, matt is an angel too, oof, pidge and lance are best friends, pidge has a demon girlfriend bc i love her and want her to be happy okay, shay is an absolute beautiful angel i love, shiro doesn't think so lmao, the others are done with them, they're always bickering, you can pry their friendship from my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-02-12 19:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12966258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emberoak/pseuds/emberoak
Summary: "Son of a bitch!""Actually, I'm a demon."Or the one where Lance wishes for a guardian angel but instead gets a snarky demon with a mullet and pretty violet eyes.





	1. Of mario kart and physics

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo this is my first Klance fic. I've been in the fandom for a while and have read lots of fanfics, so I figured I might as well write one. I hope it isn't too terrible.

"HA! Take that!" Pidge cheered as she won for what seemed like the millionth time in a row.

Lance groaned in defeat, slumping farther down on the couch. "How are you so good at this game? There is no way any normal person should be this good at Rainbow Road," he groaned.

"Maybe you just suck," Pidge replied, grinning. She ducked and laughed when Lance threw a pillow from the couch at her. It missed and hit the wall behind her. "Your aim isn't much better.”

Lance squawked indignantly and proceeded to throw another pillow in her direction. This one hit her square in the face, knocking her over.

"Pidge! Pidge, are you okay?" He immediately stood up from sitting on the couch and rushed over, worried that he had actually hurt her. As soon as he reached her, she smacked him with the pillow, sending him toppling to the ground as she cackled.

"To think I cared," Lance muttered. Pidge continued cackling, doubling over from laughing so hard. "Alright, that's it," Lance announced. "You asked for it. I declare...A PILLOW FIGHT!"

Both of them grabbed a pillow and stood up but before they could start the fight, Hunk shuffled into the room.

"Do you two know what time it is?" he asked, yawning.

Pidge and Lance looked at each other before looking back at Hunk and shrugging.

"Late?" Pidge offered.

"It's two in the morning, and I have a huge physics test tomorrow...or...today...whatever. Point is, I need my sleep if I'm going to pass this test."

"Psh, you're good at physics," Lance said, waving him off. "Exceptional, in fact. We'll quiet down, but you got nothing to worry about."

"It's one of Iverson's tests."

"Oh. Oh shit," Pidge said, eyes wide. "Iverson's tests are the worst."

Lance looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head. "That's tomorrow?!" he screeched.

Pidge and hunk looked at him. "Uh, yeah. You said that's why you were bringing Pidge over. So you could study," Hunk said.

"I forgot," Lance moaned pitifully.

"Ohh man," Pidge laughed. "You are so fucked."

"Thanks for the positivity, Pidge," Lance grumbled.

"Hey, I'm just telling it like it is," she shrugged.

"Pidge," Lance started, getting on his hands and knees.

"No," she cut him off.

"Pidge. Pidgey. Pidgeon. Please," Lance begged.

"Lance, no."

"Hunk?!"

"Nope, I'm out," Hunk said, putting his hands up. "I'm not getting dragged into this. You figure this out. I'm going to bed.”

Lance put a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "Hunk, buddy, how could you? I feel betrayed. By my best bro of all people!"

Hunk just shook his head. "Sorry, Lance. I love you, buddy, but I am exhausted." He turned and went back to his bedroom.

Lance flopped down on the floor and sighed loudly.

"Don't be such a drama queen," Pidge said, rolling her eyes. "There's nothing you can do about it now. You're terrible at staying up late to study."

Lance just moaned sadly, staring up at the ceiling.

"Listen, I have to go," Pidge said as she headed toward the door. She grabbed her coat and pulled her shoes on before opening the front door. She got one foot out the door before Lance's voice sounded again from the living room.

"Piiiiiiiiidge," Lance whined in a last attempt to get her to stay. "Have mercy. I don't even know where to start."

She sighed, looking back at him. Her eyes softened as she saw his pitiful, pleading face. "Pages 247 through 313 in the textbook."

Lance's eyes lit up. "Thank you, Pidge! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He dragged himself across the wooden floorboards and practically groveled at her feet.

"Ooookay," Pidge said, pushing him off. "That's my cue to leave."

Lance frowned again, wishing she could stay and help him. "Bye, Pidgey."

Pidge rolled her eyes at the nickname, but before she closed the door, she muttered a "Good luck."

When she had left, Lance rolled back onto the floor and sighed heavily.

"If only I had a guardian angel."

\--~--

"Ugh."

"Me too, Hunk," Lance groaned. "Me too."

The two of them were sitting in a small cafe just off of the university's campus, sipping coffee in an attempt to wake themselves up. The physics test had been brutal. Every student had walked out with a dead look in their eyes as if their souls had been sucked out of them. Lance had only managed to stay awake for an hour after Pidge had left before falling asleep on his laptop and notes. He hadn't woken up until Hunk had shouted at him that they had to leave. Needless to say, he hadn't felt even remotely prepared for the test that morning and was 99% sure he'd failed it.

"Man, I feel completely drained," Hunk said.

"At least you have Shay," Lance replied, staring down at his coffee.

"Yeah," Hunk smiled. "She's really great. Honestly, I don't know where I'd be without-"

He stopped talking when he noticed Lance's melancholy expression.

Lance's problem had been a well-known (though unsaid) fact within their friend group. Unlike most people his age, Lance had yet to receive his guardian. Sometime around the age of 18 was when most people met their guardian angel (or in some cases, demon). After the first meeting, the human and guardian were practically inseparable. Some were like family, others became the best of friends, and some even fell in love. Lance, however, was 21 and there was still no sign of his guardian. The others--mainly Shiro and Hunk--assured him that he/she/they would come soon, but Lance had convinced himself that he simply would never receive one. It always made him upset when he saw other people talk with their guardians. They were just so happy. He wanted nothing more than to share that feeling with someone. But after all these years, he had given up hope.

"Sorry, Lance."

"It's fine," Lance said tonelessly.

"I'm sure your guardian will pop up soon."

Lance stood up suddenly, almost knocking over his coffee cup. He gripped the table to steady himself. "I-I've gotta go," he said. "Homework."

Hunk watched sadly as Lance rushed out of the cafe and in the direction of the dorm they shared.

\--~--

Lance swore loudly as he lost miserably...again. He'd been playing Mario Kart for two hours and wasn't getting any better. He didn't understand why he was so bad at the game, but he refused to prove Pidge right. He started a new game and when that one didn't go any better than the previous few, he groaned, chucking the controller across the room before flopping down on the couch.

"Wow," a voice sounded from behind him. "You really suck at that."

Lance practically leapt off the bed in fright.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Actually, I'm a demon."

After Lance had mostly regained control of his breathing, he turned around and found himself faced with a guy who looked to be about his age.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asked.

"I just told you. I'm a demon," the surprise visitor answered.

"Why the fuck are you in my home?"

"How polite," the mysterious man said dryly. When Lance didn't respond, he sighed. "I'm Keith."

"Lance. Now, why are you here?"

Keith raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it obvious? I'm your guardian."

"You're...what?" Lance said, still in shock.

Keith groaned, clearly irritated. "I am your guardian," he said, emphasizing every word.

"B-but how?!"

"What do you mean 'how'?"

"I mean...you can't be my guardian!"

"What? Why not?" Keith was obviously confused.

"Because you're a demon!" Lance yelled.

"Why is that a problem?" Keith matched his volume.

"Because...because," Lance struggled with his words. "Because I asked for an angel! Not a demon!"

"Look, dumbass-"

"No, you listen to me, asshole. I didn't ask for you! I don't want you!"

"Fine!" shouted Keith. "Then I'll leave!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

A couple moments passed by in which the two just stared at each other, waiting for the other to do something.

"You're...you're not leaving," Lance pointed out.

"No shit," Keith rolled his eyes. "I, uh, actually can't leave."

"You can't?"

"No. Once contact has been made, a human and their guardian are stuck together forever. Unfortunately."

"So, you can't leave?"

"Believe me, I tried," Keith frowned.

"Ever?"

"That's what I just said."

"Well, shit," Lance said, sitting back down on the couch.

"Yeah."

They remained in awkward silence, Keith standing by the TV looking like he would rather be anywhere but there. Finally, Lance cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry."

Keith looked up from where he'd been staring at the fluffy white carpet in surprise. "What?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Lance sighed. "I shouldn't have flipped out on you like that. You didn't do anything wrong. I mean, you're still a bit of an asshole but whatever. Point is, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you said that. Multiple times."

Lance shot Keith a look before staring down at his own hands. "Can't you give me a chance to explain myself?"

"Fine."

Lance took a deep breath. "Okay, look, I was just...shocked. That's all. I mean, I honestly expected an angel, so to have a demon show up in my home was kinda, well, surprising. Not that it's a bad thing! Just...not what I was expecting."

"Fair enough," Keith shrugged. "I guess I never really considered the fact that it would be weird for you."

Lance nodded in acknowledgement.

After a few more seconds of silence, Lance piped up again.

"So, does this mean we're friends?"

Keith looked at him and studied his adorably excited face and bright blue eyes. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch. How could he possibly say no to that face?

"I guess so," he said plainly, but his light tone gave him away.

Lance's grin grew bigger. "So now that we're friends, can I ask you a question?"

Keith raised an eyebrow, but replied, "Sure?"

"If you're a demon, where are your horns?"


	2. Of stereotypes and mullets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "OH MY FUCKING-Keith, you have a mullet!"
> 
> "No, I don't!"
> 
> "Dude, yes you do."
> 
> "Uh, no."
> 
> "Uh, yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit okay wow this fanfic has only been up for a week and the response has been amazing?? Thank you to everyone who has left kudos and/or a comment! It really means a lot to me. I love y'all so much omfg <3

"Where are my..." Keith trailed off. "Please tell me you're not serious."

Lance's only response was to grin at him.

Keith groaned. "I've been here ten minutes, and I already want to die." 

"If you're a demon, aren't you already dead?"

Keith used his forefinger and thumb to pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "No...what the fuck..."

"Hey! What about a tail?" Lance said.

"A...a what?"

"You know, a devil tail thing? Usually comes with a fiery pitchfork or something?"

"Are you just trying to think of any stereotypes about demons you know?" Keith asked, now using his hand to rub his forehead which was beginning to ache from Lance's questions.

Lance shrugged. "Maybe."

"That's it. I can't do this."

"Can't do w-Keith?" Lance looked around the room, but there was no sign of the demon. "Keith? Buddy? My man?"

A feeling of panic began to rise in Lance's chest. Sure, the demon was kinda rude and had, like, no sense of humor, but he was  _someone_. Someone who was supposed to be meant for Lance.

"Hey! I thought you said you couldn't leave!" Lance said, staring at the spot by the TV where he'd last seen Keith.

"I can't," came a response to his right.

Lance shrieked and very nearly fell off the couch.

"Dude, what the fuck?!" he exclaimed. "Wait, where are you?"

He slowly looked around the room again, but the demon was nowhere in sight.

"I'm right here, dumbass." The voice was still to his right, so Lance turned his head in that direction.

"Why can't I see you?"

Lance swore he could hear Keith rolling his eyes.

"Because I'm invisible, Didn't you know guardians could do that?"

"Uh, not really, no," Lance responded. "But, why  _are_ you invisible?"

"Because you're annoying," Keith said flatly.

Lance put a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "You wound me."

Keith suddenly appeared next to him and quickly began examining him. "How did I hurt you? Where are you hurt?"

"Keith, buddy, calm down," Lance said, trying not to laugh. "It's just a saying. Like a joke, you know?"

Keith tilted his head slightly. "So...you're not actually hurt?"

"No," Lance chuckled. "It warms my heart that you were so worried though."

Keith scoffed and turned away. "I wasn't worried."

"Uh huh. Sure," Lance replied to the back of Keith's head. "Wait a minute."

"What?" Keith asked, turning back to face him.

"OH MY FUCKING-Keith, you have a _mullet_!" Lance threw his head back in laughter.

"No, I don't!"

"Dude, yes you do."

"Uh, no."

"Uh, yes."

Keith threw his arms up, exasperated. "Whatever, it's not a mullet. Now, I'm going to bed."

"It's four in the afternoon," Lance said. "There is no way you're going to sleep now. Plus, do demons even need to sleep?"

"Yes, yes we do. We need lots of sleep to be able to deal with bullshit. Goodnight," Keith said, making his way to what he guessed was Lance's room.

"But it's not nighttime yet!"

"Goodnight, Lance." Keith opened the bedroom door and closed it again.

"I promise I won't call your mullet a mullet anymore!" Lance shouted.

There was no response. 

A few seconds passed before Lance piped up again.

"Hey, Keith?" he asked somewhat timidly. "You're not actually mad at me, are you?"

"...No, dumbass, I'm just tired," Keith responded. "Getting to Earth from Hell takes a lot of energy. I just need to rest."

Lance breathed a sigh of relief. As much as he loved teasing people, he knew he sometimes went too far with his jokes. Though he didn't think any of the jokes he had made to Keith were offensive, he never knew. 

He really hoped he could get along with Keith. Besides the fact that they were kinda stuck together, it would be nice to have another close friend. Of course he was friendly with pretty much everyone, but his only real friends were Pidge and Hunk. Even then, he hadn't told them how much waiting so long for his guardian had hurt him. He felt like it was stupid to be so upset about it, and now he had managed to argue with his guardian the entire time he'd been there.

_Great job, Lance_ , he thought to himself. 

He sighed. All of the excitement of the afternoon and the awful test earlier that day took a lot out of him. Maybe Keith had the right idea going to sleep.

Lance stood up, stretching and grimacing when he heard something crack. When he entered his bedroom, he assumed Keith had gone invisible again until he spotted the demon floating near the low ceiling. He was curled up around himself, already asleep.

_What the hell? How is that comfortable?_ Lance asked himself.  _Demons are weird._

Lance didn't feel like giving it too much thought. He could make fun of Keith in the morning. 

Once he got in bed, he couldn't fall asleep. It bothered him to think that he had annoyed his guardian, but what could he do? 

A brilliant idea popped into his head, and he quickly wrote it down on a notepad he kept on the side table he had placed next to his bed. He smiled to himself. It was the perfect plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just fyi, when Lance says his only friends are Pidge and Hunk, it's because they are the only ones he's met so far. He'll meet Shiro and Allura later on.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I know a lot didn't happen in this chapter (and that it's being posted a couple days later than I meant to) but I'm hoping to get another chapter posted either today or tomorrow to make up for it.


	3. Of beyonce and burnt breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's that smell?"
> 
> "What smell?"
> 
> *cue Lance screaming like a mcfuckin banshee*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooooo uhh sorry for not updating in forever. school was really difficult and homework and studying were taking up all my time (I'm not sure when i slept) and then i kinda forgot about this but i love this au so I'm back for good and y'all can expect weekly updates.

Lance woke up naturally with the sun the next morning. He took a moment to rub the sleep out of his bleary eyes, stretch, and enjoy the weak, early morning light that streamed through his bedroom window. He loved waking up early and knowing he had the whole day ahead of him.

The whole day. He remembered what he'd written down before going to sleep, and he was going to need the whole day for it. If he was going to make this Keith guy actually like him, he needed to figure out how to become friends with him.  He looked up at his ceiling and smiled when he realized that the demon was still asleep.

He quickly threw his blankets and sheet off of himself and ran to the bathroom to shower. Once out of the shower he got dressed and went into the kitchen. He wasn't sure what Keith liked for breakfast, but Lance was certain he couldn't go wrong with bacon, eggs, and pancakes. He didn't exactly know how to make them, but he had seen Hunk make breakfast plenty of times. Surely he had picked up the knowledge.

After Lance had gotten all of the food cooking, he crept back into his room to find his speaker and phone. Grinning wickedly, he paired the devices and scrolled through his music to find the song he was looking for. As soon as he had found it, he tapped on it and turned the volume on the speaker to the maximum. 

Keith woke up immediately as the first beats of Beyonce's _Halo_ filled the room.

"Lance, what the fuck?" he asked, still sleepy. When the chorus started, he glared. "Are you kidding me?"

Lance's smile only widened. "I don't know what you're talking about. Now c'mon. Breakfast is almost ready."

"Oh, is that what that smell is?"

Lance's smile faltered slightly. "What smell?"

Then he stopped. He could smell it, too. Something was burning.

Lance sprinted out of the room, screaming and swearing, as he tried to save his burning breakfast.

Keith rolled his eyes and touched down on the floor, calmly walking into the kitchen to see the mess. He chuckled to himself as he watched Lance struggle to save the food and clear the smoke out of the room. Once Lance had realized his attempts to save the food were futile, he collapsed on the floor and sighed heavily. 

"I was just trying to make breakfast," he whined.

"Hmm," replied Keith. "Doesn't look terribly edible."

"Fight me, mullet man," Lance said, lacking any energy.

"Mm, pass. How about I fix it instead?"

"Are you telling me you know how to cook?" Lance asked, sitting up. "Do they have Cooking 101 in Hell or something?"

"Never mind, I'm fighting you."

"Wait, no!" Lance exclaimed. "Sorry, will you please help me fix it?"

"Oh no. Uh uh. You're not going anywhere near the stove," Keith replied, shaking his head. "You've already done your damage. Now move out of the way and do not interfere."

"Ugh, fine," Lance said, leaving the kitchen and flopping down on the couch.

Lance turned on the TV and watched the news lazily as Keith scrubbed out the pans and began remaking breakfast. Soon the scent of pancakes cooking and the sound of bacon sizzling filled the apartment, and Hunk stumbled out of his bedroom, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Lance? Since when did you know how to cook--" he started before opening his eyes. "Uh, who is this?"

"Oh!" Lance said, energy back. "Hunk, meet Keith. Keith is my guardian. He's a demon. He's weird as fuck, but that's cool."

Keith turned around long enough to shoot a glare at Lance before going back to his cooking.

"Lance, this is so awesome!" Hunk exclaimed. "I mean, you've been waiting forever for this! You've finally got your guardian, man. I'm so happy for you."

Lance grinned. "Thanks, buddy. I'm happy, too."

He watched Keith as he put the breakfast on three plates with a fond expression on his face.

"Helps that he's attractive, doesn't it?" Hunk asked with a smirk.

"Yeah--wait, no!" Lance shouted. "That's ridiculous, Hunk. Really. I mean, he's got a  _mullet_."

Hunk put his hands up to show he wasn't going to argue with him. "Okay, man, whatever you say."

Lance huffed in mock annoyance as the two sat down at the table where Keith had just finished placing the plates of food. There was silence as they all began eating.

"Holy shit," Hunk said after taking a few bites. "Keith, dude, this is-"

"AMAZING!" Lance cut him off. "Keith, what the--how? This is so good!"

Keith offered a small smile. "Thanks. It's really not that difficult, though. Well, for most people."

"You know, I know what you're insinuating, but I'm choosing to ignore your insult because these pancakes are so fluffy and amazing."

"Lance is right, dude," Hunk said. "This is so good."

Lance nodded and the three resumed eating in silence. Lance glanced at his phone and almost spat out his eggs.

"Shit, is that the time? Keith, we gotta go!"

"Go?" Keith asked, confused. "Go where?"

"Oh, you'll find out," Lance said. "Now, c'mon. Let's head out!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao lance playing Halo to a demon is really funny to me and idek why


	4. of pizza and pretty boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lance, you're drooling."
> 
> "Huh?"
> 
> "You're drooling."
> 
> Lance quickly wiped the drool from his chin and looked down in embarrassment.
> 
> "What were you even looking at?"
> 
> "Uh..." Lance couldn't think of an answer. He looked at Hunk for help, but Hunk simply laughed and shook his head. No help there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao y’all guess which dumb bitch got locked out of her account bc she couldn’t remember the password until now? hint:it’s me
> 
> but now i’m back!! here’s another chapter and i am going to do my best to update frequently (and to not forget my password ever again)

"Head out?" Keith asked, raising an eyebrow. "Where are we going exactly?"

"Not telling, mullet man. It's a surprise," Lance said, a big smile taking over his face. 

Keith looked over at Hunk with a questioning look on his face. "Should I...should I be worried about this?"

Hunk shook his head. "Nah, I doubt it. Lance may get overly excited about, well, everything, but it's really nothing to worry about. Hopefully," he said, looking over at Lance. "Then again, his surprises don't always end well."

"Hey!" Lance piped up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't you remember the surprise birthday party you put together for your little sister for her fifth birthday?" Hunk asked.

Lance thought back to the event and cringed. He had wanted to make his sister's birthday a day to remember, and, well, in a way it was. The magician's rabbit escaped from his hat and bounded around the yard while half the kids chased it. Then, the magician's dove flew out of his coat and started attacking Lance's sister. The poor magician ended up fainting, and Lance's mom had to splash cold water on him and send him home. In hindsight, Lance shouldn't have hired his friend's thirteen year old brother, but he was the cheapest guy he could find. After all that, the ice cream cake melted, and the kids chasing the rabbit had trampled many of the presents. All in all, it had been a pretty terrible birthday party, and, needless to say, Lance had been banned from planning parties of any kind for the rest of his life.

"Okay, so maybe surprises haven't exactly worked out for me in the past," Lance admitted. "But I plan to show Keith a good time today. He needs it. You haven't seen it, but this little demon is wound a little tight. I'm gonna teach him to loosen up a bit."

"Okay, first of all, never call me a little demon ever again," Keith said, scowling. "Second, I am not uptight."

"Uh huh," Lance said, clearly not believing him. "Well, here's your chance to prove it. Besides, it's not like you can say no. You're my guardian. You kinda have to come with me."

Keith sighed, knowing Lance was right.

"Okay, fine. I'll let you surprise me," Keith said reluctantly. "Just give me a second to change."

"Change? You don't even have any other clothes," Lance argued.

The demon just stuck out his tongue and disappeared. Lance threw his hands up in annoyance. Where was Keith even going? He didn't exactly bring a suitcase or anything.

Not thirty seconds later, Keith returned, and as soon as he had, Lance made a slightly strangled noise. Keith was now wearing black leggings and a fucking  _crop top_. It's lavender shade brought out the deep violet color of Keith's eyes, and Lance felt as though he had died and gone to heaven. 

Hunk noticed and smirked when he realized Lance was simply staring at Keith in shock.

"You know, I've never seen him this quiet," Hunk stated teasingly. "Wonder what it is? Lance, you're drooling."

"Huh?"

"You're drooling."

Lance quickly wiped the drool from his chin and looked down in embarrassment. "What were you even looking at?"/p>

Lance ignored Hunk and finally found his voice.

"What...the hell...are you wearing?" Lance asked, struggling to regulate his breathing. What was going on? Why was this guy of all people rendering Lance almost speechless? This wasn't normal in the slightest.

"My friend keeps stealing my regular clothes and replacing them with this kind of stuff," Keith answered, not paying attention to the fact that Lance was currently having a crisis. "Do you not like it?"

"N-No! No, that's not--I think it looks good. You look good."

Hunk gave him an odd look, but Lance chose to ignore it, his face burning.

Keith smiled softly and muttered a 'thanks' to him.

There was an awkward silence where the two gazed at each other, each trying to figure out what was going on in the other's head. Finally, Hunk broke the silence by clearing his throat.

"Don't you two have somewhere to go?" he asked.

Just like that, the moment was gone, and Lance was back to his loud, chipper self.

"Yes! Alright, Keith, we've wasted enough time. Let's get going."

He grabbed his keys and flung the door open, yelling a goodbye to Hunk and sprinting down the hall, not even looking back to make sure Keith was following him.

Keith looked at Hunk quizzically, but he only shook his head in response. Keith shrugged and disappeared, so Hunk, taking it as his departure, closed the apartment door and chuckled to himself. He'd never seen Lance look at anyone like that before. Maybe Keith would be good for him.

 

Lance burst out of the apartment complex, smiling as the warm spring sunshine washed over him. He breathed in the faint, sweet scent of flowers. It was so peaceful, minus the traffic noises coming from the street. He opened his eyes and immediately noticed Keith staring at him with an expression Lance couldn't read.

"What are you staring at, mullet?" he asked teasingly.

Keith scowled and looked away. "Nothing."

"Uh huh," Lance said, his tone making it evident that he didn't believe Keith in the slightest. "If you say so, buddy. Now, let's go. I don't want to waste the whole day just standing around."

Lance turned and began meandering down the sidewalk with Keith following behind him. They walked in silence for a few minutes, and as much as Lance enjoyed the peace and quiet, he wanted to talk to his guardian and get to know him.

"You know," he said. "It's kinda hard to talk when you're behind me. And a little creepy."

He couldn't see Keith, but Lance would bet money the demon boy rolled his eyes before picking up his pace to join Lance at his side.

"So tell me," Lance began. "How do people get their demons or angels? Like, do you get to pick who you're going to be the guardian of?"

Keith was silent, so Lance looked over and was surprised to see him gazing back, a slight blush spreading across his pale cheeks. As quickly as he had seen it, however, it was gone, and it left Lance wondering if he had only imagined it.

Keith looked away and pursed his lips. "No," he finally replied. "We don't get to choose. That's why I had the misfortune of getting assigned to you."

"Okay, rude," Lance said. "I'll have you know I am a joy to have around."

"If you count being a pain in the ass being a joy, then sure."

"Why are you so mean to me?" Lance groaned.

"Because it's my job."

"It is not."

"It really is."

"It really isn't."

"It-" Keith began.

"Oh, look, we're here," Lance cut him off and gestured dramatically to a large building with people streaming in and out of it.

"A mall? Are you kidding me?"

"Nope!" Lance exclaimed. "We're going shopping today whether you like it or not."

"Are you sure you have any money to buy stuff with? Aren't you a poor college student?" Keith asked.

"Yes, but I'm good at what I do," Lance replied, dragging Keith into the mall.

"And what is that?" Keith questioned, allowing himself to be pulled into a clothing store.

"Oh, you'll see," Lance said, grinning mischievously.

 

As it turned out, Keith did, in fact, see. Lance proved to be incredibly good at haggling over prices and getting salespeople to drop their prices enough to where Lance could easily afford them. Soon, Lance was toting several bags full of purchases, and an awestruck Keith, around.

"Okay, I'll admit it," Keith said. "You are amazing."

"Why, thank you, mullet man."

"Never mind. For that comment, I'm taking the compliment back."

"Ah, ah, ah," Lance chided, wagging his finger in Keith's face. "No take-backs."

Keith rolled his eyes and smacked Lance's finger away from him. "You're ridiculous."

"I know," Lance responded, winking playfully. "Let's go to the food court. I'm literally starving."

"You are not literally sta-"

"Hush, hush, Keithy boy. Not important. What is important is that I want food."

"Fine," Keith sighed. "Let's go get something to eat. It may be the only way of shutting you up."

Minutes later, the two boys were sitting across from each other at a small table in the food court, a medium cheese pizza between them.

”Okay,” Keith conceded. “You were right. Pizza was absolutely the way to go.”

”Exactly,” Lance said. “Don’t you trust me with all decisions now?”

”I don’t know about all,” Keith teased.

Lance rolled his eyes, a habit he seemed to be picking up from his guardian, and went to pick up another slice of pizza. As he did, his hand brushed Keith’s.

”Oh! Oh, sorry. Uh, my bad,” said Lance, surprised by the sudden contact.

Keith gave him a quizzical look. “All you did was touch my hand.”

”Okay, well, I would really call that a touch cessation. More like a brush. Not a touch. Because that would make it sound like it was on purpose, and it was not.”

”Are you okay?”

”Great!” Lance replied. “Never better! Please, have the last slice I’m full.”

”You said you were starving.”

”And now I’m full. Have the last slice, mullet man.”

Keith cocked and eyebrow in confusion but seemed to choose not to dwell on it as he reached for the pizza. 

Before he took a bite, he grinned. 

“You know what would make this pizza even better?” 

“Hmm?” Lance asked, not fully paying attention because when Keith had stretched his arm out to get pizza, his shirt had lifted slightly, showing off even more of his skin.

When, he’d snapped out of it, Keith was already back and holding a vanilla ice cream cone. He looked at the demon quizzically.

”What are you doing?” he asked.

Wordlessly, Keith smeared the vanilla ice cream onto the slice of pizza, coating it entirely, and took a large bite.

”WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Lance shrieked, attracting a couple glares from people eating at tables around them.

Keith shrugged. “It’s surprisingly good.”

”Good?! You just put ice cream on pizza! That’s not right.”

”Right? Perhaps not. But delicious? Absolutely.”

”You’re a nightmare,” Lance declared, shaking his head in disbelief.

Keith just grinned and finished his pizza.

After they had both finished and cleaned up their mess, Lance dragged Keith around the mall, continuing to haggle over prices. 

Lance would never admit it, but he was beginning to enjoy the time he spent with his guardian demon. Sure, the guy had a mullet and ate ice cream with his pizza, but he was funny and nice and had a really pretty smile. Not that that meant anything, of course. Lance knew plenty of people with a pretty smile. Like Keith and Hunk and Pidge and...Keith.

Finally, Keith said, “You know, people get tortured in Hell, but nothing we could come up with could be as bad as this. Are we done yet?”

”Almost! Just one more stop before we leave,” Lance responded, ignoring Keith’s remark.

”Oh my fucking—you can’t be serious.”

Lance’s smile widened. “You bet your emo ass I am.”

He gestured grandly to the Hot Topic in front of them before pushing Keith into the store.

”I cannot believe you would assume this is my type of shop,” Keith said. “Honestly, I just—are those ripped jeans on sale?”

Lance laughed loudly as Keith immediately went and grabbed a pair of the black ripped skinny jeans in his size. He stopped laughing when he saw Keith come out of the dressing room.

Lance’s jaw dropped. The black fabric against Keith’s creamy skin? Sensational. The slim fit? Otherworldly. That ass? Godly.

He shook his head, trying to clear his head of all the sirens and alarms going off in his mind. Now was not the time for this kind of serious contemplation.

After admiring himself in the mirror, Keith turned to look at Lance and asked, “What do you think?”

“Great. You look stunning—good! You look good—fine! You look fine. No, you look, uh, yeah, you know.”

”So, I should get them?”

”Yes, absolutely,” Lance said quickly.

For a second, Keith seemed to be blushing, but then he turned away and Lance wasn’t quite sure if he had imagined it or not. Deep inside, he hoped it hadn’t simply been his imagination, yet he wasn’t quite sure why.

After Keith had bought the jeans (Lance had no idea where he’d gotten the money), the two left the mall.

”I’m free!” Keith gasped, breathing in the fresh air.

”You’re so dramatic,” Lance said.

”Says the drama queen.”

Lance scoffed and put a hand on his chest in mock disbelief. “How dare you, sir. I have never been more offended in my entire life.”

”Mhmm, I’m sure.”

”Whatever. At least I don’t have a mullet.”

”Are you really going to keep making fun of it?”

Lance nodded. “Forever and ever.”

”Fantastic,” Keith groaned. “So, are we headed back to the dorm now?”

”Back to the dorm? It’s only 1pm!” Lance said. “We still have so much to do!”

”Like what?”

”I can’t tell you that! It’s a surprise,” Lance told him, winking.

”Ugh, very well,” Keith consented. “Lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh! also, the amazing nadpon has translated this fic into Russian!! if you'd like to read it, here is the link: https://ficbook.net/readfic/7224844/18411717 
> 
> also, the ice cream on pizza thing is actually something i do a lot. all my friends are horrified by it but i think it’s amazing.


	5. Of pac-man and dance dance revolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So the mullet can dance.”
> 
> “Shut up.”
> 
> “Aw, are you embarrassed? Don’t worry, you looked good.”
> 
> “What?”
> 
> “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meant to post this yesterday, but i got stuck on the ending
> 
> please accept this slightly late chapter

“Now you’re talking,” Keith said with a grin.

”Behold!” Lance announced with a grand gesture towards the arcade building in front of them. “I present to you: Arcade Altea.”

Keith snorted, “You’re ridiculous.”

Lance just smiled and said, “Let’s go! We have so much to do. And I have so many games to beat you at.”

”You really think you’re going to beat me?” Keith smirked.

And maybe it was the hot sun overhead or the way Keith’s deep violet eyes seemed to carry a spark of mischief, but Lance suddenly felt very brave and sure of himself. He leaned in close to Keith and whispered in his ear, “Hell yeah, I do.”

He grabbed Keith’s hand and, without pausing long enough to consider the shocked look on the demon’s face, dragged him into the arcade.

Immediately, a rush of cool air swept over them. Bright, neon lights filled their vision. They stopped to take it all in.

It was then Lance rememberedhe had grabbed Keith’s hand and was still holding it. He snuck a glance at his face, but the other boy was staring, transfixed, as the lights danced in his eyes and the cheers and groans of players filled his ears. 

Lance looked down at their intertwined hands, and a smile began to spread across his face. Something about all of this made him feel soft inside. He felt...right. Everything about this just felt right. Whatever this was.

Someone cleated their throat, and Lance jumped back in shock, letting go of Keith’s hand. His face burned from the embarrassment of being caught. 

The corners of Keith’s lips twitched upward in barely contained amusement.

”You okay there, Lance?” he teased. “You look a little red.”

Lance was fine. Everything was fine. Dandy. Peachy. Totally normal. Just another day with a friend. A bro. A pal. Everything was perfectly-

“Lance,” Keith said, waving his hand in front of the boy’s face. “You in there?”

Lance quickly shook himself out of it. “Yeah! Uh huh. I’m good.”

”You sure?” Keith looked concerned.

”Yes!” Lance replied, a little too loudly. “Now, c’mon. I’ve got some games to crush you in.”

Keith laughed, the strange moment forgotten. “Let’s see if you really can live up to all your boasting.”

 

As it turned out, for the most part, Lance could. He all but destroyed Keith in nearly every game they played together. All except for Pac-Man. Lance had been pissed that Keith was more skilled at his favorite childhood game. They argued about whether or not Keith had cheated (he had not) and whether or not Lance had attempted to throw Keith off by messing with the game controls during Keith’s turns (he had).

Their bickering continued as they meandered around the arcade, looking for something they hadn’t played yet. Suddenly, Lance stopped, causing Keith to bump into him. Lance didn’t notice as he was too busy staring at his favorite game of all: Dance Dance Revolution.

”You’ve got to be kidding me,” Keith groaned.

”Oh, are you scared?” Lance smirked.

”Terrified,” Keith deadpanned. “Come on, dumbass, let’s play.”

Lance inserted the tokens, and they each got on their respective platforms. A song was chosen, and the music started. As they danced, Lance risked a glance at Keith and suddenly wished he hadn’t.

Keith’s hair was hanging around his face, framing it beautifully. His violet eyes were narrowed in concentration, and he was panting from the exertion. And his body. Shit, his  _body_. The crop top kept riding up, exposing his torso and the toned muscles underneath. Every movement left Lance breathless.

He quickly turned his focus back on the game. He was not going to lose because of some pretty boy.

The game ended, and both boys sat down on the floor, exhausted.

After catching his breath, Lance smiled, “So the mullet can dance.”

”Shut up,” Keith breathed.

”Aw, are you embarrassed? Don’t worry you looked good.”

There was a short pause.

”What?”

Lance’s mind was reeling. He did not just say that. Shit. He was barely sorting out his feelings. He was not about to drag Keith into it.

”What?” Lance repeated weakly.

Keith gave him a long, hard look, clearly expecting him to say something more, but Lance was too focused on fighting down a blush to respond with anything else.

When he realized Lance wasn’t going to make an effort to say anything more, Keith sighed.

”It’s getting late, and I’m hungry. What’s for dinner?”

Lance thanked any gods that were listening that they were moving on to a new topic.

”Hunk wanted to try out a couple new recipes, so he said he’d make them before leaving on a date with his guardian angel, Shay. We have the pleasure of trying them. Knowing Hunk, they’re going to be delicious.”

”Sounds good,” Keith said, smiling. He rose to his feet and held out a hand toward Lance. “Shall we?” 

It took Lance a moment to respond, stunned as he looked at the demon’s face, lit up by the surrounding colorful lights. Then he grabbed Keith’s hand and allowed himself to be hoisted to his feet. When Keith let go, Lance felt a little empty and desired to hold his hand again. He decided not to follow through on that impulse.

They left the arcade with the prizes they had won—a couple handfuls of candy—and complained about how ridiculously difficult it was to get the better prizes. The two walked back to the dorm, joking and bickering the entire way.

When they reached the door, Lance inserted his key into the lock and opened the door. As soon as he walked in, he noticed the table already set and could smell the food in the kitchen. Then he noticed the candles. Hunk had placed their “romantic” candles on the table.

Lance panicked and slammed the door in Keith’s face.

”Lance, what the hell?” Keith’s voice was muffled through the wood.

”Uh, just a sec!” Lance called, trying (and failing) to keep the panic out of his voice as he dashed to the table, blew out the candles, and shoved them in the nearest cabinet.

He calmed himself, smoothed his hair, and strode to the door, opening it to let Keith inside.

”Hello again,” he said, closing the door as though nothing had just happened.

”Lance, what was all that about?” Keith asked, an eyebrow cocked quizzically.

”Oh, nothing,” Lance chuckled anxiously. “Don’t even worry about it. Go ahead, sit down. I’ll get the food.”

Keith complied, and Lance went into the kitchen to gather the meal Hunk had so kindly left for them.

He grabbed the containers out of the fridge and microwave, and, before returning to the small dining area, took a deep breath to steady himself.

”And here is your meal, Monsieur,” Lance said in a terrible French accent, setting the plastic container down on Keith’s plate.

Keith rolled his eyes but removed the lid and poured the contents—spaghetti with pesto sauce—onto his dish. 

Both boys took giant bites of the noodles and moaned in delight. 

“Holy shit,” Keith said.

”Mhmm,” was Lance’s only reply.

But, of course, Lance couldn’t let them have a nice, peaceful moment. When Keith wasn’t paying attention, Lance loaded spaghetti onto his fork and chucked it at the demon’s head.

It hit him right on the cheek. Keith turned to him in surprise, pesto sauce dripping off his jaw.

”Oh, you’re on!” he exclaimed.

He scooped up a handful of the food and threw it so it hit Lance square in the face.

In no time, the two were up, clutching their plates and screeching as they ran around the room, throwing and dodging spaghetti which was exactly how Hunk and Shay, returning from a romantic date, found them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter kind of cuts off so abruptly but hhh i’m tired and want to post sOmething
> 
> next chapter will hopefully be up by wednesday <3


End file.
